PARALLEL
Predestination paradox
A short film treatment
Do not edit, add comment
Summary for Understanding
A boy chooses to do something. But then someone dies. He tries to go back in time and change it. But then he contributes to the actual death. The he must go back in time once again to stop himself from even contributing to the future. In the end he returns to the beginning.
A man is shifting in and out of conscienceless he sees a watch... He cant believe what he sees
The same man is sitting on the ground in his garage. His friends are around him asking Jim, that is his name, if he was ok. They said that they only wanted to play around but they didn't mean for him to fall.
Jim Buscher lives a simple life. It is the near future and the “Time Age” is dawning. College graduates are making portable low power time machine-devices in their garages. The US government has already started making some, but they are large and unwieldy and have been restricted and classified until about 4 years prior. Parts for their time machine are abundant, such as the Krasnikov tube and the Tipler cylinder, along with new advances such as the Dyson Sphere Emulator. The late Steven Hawking agrees that with these innovations, time travel is not only feasible, can be even proven on a large scale.
In his garage, Jim had created a portable time machine with his two exceptional nerd friends, Thomas and Ridley. They are so excited, that they device to test it out, not thinking that it may be fatal. Excited, they decide that Thomas should go in. When he does, he return in a dying state and looking older, almost instantly. He says that he tried to transport himself to the time before they invented it, but he miscalculated and ended up right after he left. He is also missing his Time Watch. Jim and Ridley are in shock. They don't know what to do. They have to shut the temporal portal to the past, the only way is return to the place where Thomas entered and stop him from ever opening it. If they try to call for help, the portal might open further and suck in the entire house. Eventually they argue over what they should do, but then they are both sucked in and sent into the temporal portal.
They they awake on a beach. A distant noise can be heard, but they pay no attention to it. In the distance, they can see a slight shine: The Watch.
They begin to fight over the watch.
During the fight, Thomas is mortally wounded and falls into the portal. Ridley and Jim realize what they have done.
In shock, they cant believe what has just happened. They decide that they must go back and stop them from ever creating the time machine.
Everything begins to reverse, and, after a series of cool fx shots, Jim is confronted with a test, give himself up for his friend or save himself. He ponders on his situation.
Finally, Jim decides. He throws the Time Watch into the portal as it closes, and he is thrown back and knocked out.
He awakes on the floor. His friends are crowding around him. We didn't mean to hurt you Jim. We were only playing a joke. We didn't mean for you to fall. It is then he realizes: He looks into his hand, and he sees the time watch still in his grasp.
Predestination paradox
A short film treatment
Do not edit, add comment
Summary for Understanding
A boy chooses to do something. But then someone dies. He tries to go back in time and change it. But then he contributes to the actual death. The he must go back in time once again to stop himself from even contributing to the future. In the end he returns to the beginning.
A man is shifting in and out of conscienceless he sees a watch... He cant believe what he sees
The same man is sitting on the ground in his garage. His friends are around him asking Jim, that is his name, if he was ok. They said that they only wanted to play around but they didn't mean for him to fall.
Jim Buscher lives a simple life. It is the near future and the “Time Age” is dawning. College graduates are making portable low power time machine-devices in their garages. The US government has already started making some, but they are large and unwieldy and have been restricted and classified until about 4 years prior. Parts for their time machine are abundant, such as the Krasnikov tube and the Tipler cylinder, along with new advances such as the Dyson Sphere Emulator. The late Steven Hawking agrees that with these innovations, time travel is not only feasible, can be even proven on a large scale.
In his garage, Jim had created a portable time machine with his two exceptional nerd friends, Thomas and Ridley. They are so excited, that they device to test it out, not thinking that it may be fatal. Excited, they decide that Thomas should go in. When he does, he return in a dying state and looking older, almost instantly. He says that he tried to transport himself to the time before they invented it, but he miscalculated and ended up right after he left. He is also missing his Time Watch. Jim and Ridley are in shock. They don't know what to do. They have to shut the temporal portal to the past, the only way is return to the place where Thomas entered and stop him from ever opening it. If they try to call for help, the portal might open further and suck in the entire house. Eventually they argue over what they should do, but then they are both sucked in and sent into the temporal portal.
They they awake on a beach. A distant noise can be heard, but they pay no attention to it. In the distance, they can see a slight shine: The Watch.
They begin to fight over the watch.
During the fight, Thomas is mortally wounded and falls into the portal. Ridley and Jim realize what they have done.
In shock, they cant believe what has just happened. They decide that they must go back and stop them from ever creating the time machine.
Everything begins to reverse, and, after a series of cool fx shots, Jim is confronted with a test, give himself up for his friend or save himself. He ponders on his situation.
Finally, Jim decides. He throws the Time Watch into the portal as it closes, and he is thrown back and knocked out.
He awakes on the floor. His friends are crowding around him. We didn't mean to hurt you Jim. We were only playing a joke. We didn't mean for you to fall. It is then he realizes: He looks into his hand, and he sees the time watch still in his grasp.
The story itself seems amazing, as i am an avid-nerd fan of the possibilities of time travel and intergalactic science! Besides that, the film is very interesting. Not many stories revolve around the theme of time, simply because the effort of editing and the effects are all too much. But you being willing to delve into this genre is enticing, and is bound to be received well. As confusing as your summary was I understood the story behind your work and cannot offer any improvements since your idea is solid. However I'd like to know maybe more about the qualities of each character, and seeing if the audience can connect with them on a deeper level. Just a little more detail on how the characters would look, but other than that a really good treatment!
ReplyDeleteThe story and plot is amazing, although you had me a bit lost in the terms of a 3-act structure. However i'm not that bright when it comes to the manipulation of time. I love the twist/surprise ending, and how it leaves the audience shocked and wondering. I did get confused over the general flow of the treatment, possibly because your treatment was a lot more description rather than action. I also thought it went a bit too fast during some scenes. For example, he enters the portal and suddenly comes out as an old man? You could have gone to his point of view for a while, just to clarify a few things. Overall, with a bit more work in the plot structure, I believe this would have turned out to become a great film.
ReplyDeleteThe story is freaking amazing as I approved of this as soon as you have written it. The plot is smooth yet has a sort of time twist to create suspense. There are many things that you can use from this treatment to use in any other films you are bound to make in your future. The treatment has some good characterization to show why the main protagonist needs to save his friend. The one thing I have wrong with this treatment is that you could have elongated the end of the story to add more action and suspense into the film. Over all though the plot does not have many plot holes and is a solid well written piece of work
ReplyDelete